


My Heart (EternityTag)

by LOTSlover



Category: Legend of the Seeker
Genre: Angst, Episode Tag, F/M, One Shot, POV First Person, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-09
Updated: 2012-08-09
Packaged: 2017-11-11 18:17:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/481451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LOTSlover/pseuds/LOTSlover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written in first person POV, here are Richard and Kahlan’s thoughts right after the kiss in the cave.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>2013 LotSeekerFic Award: 2nd Place for Best Canon</b>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Heart (EternityTag)

** My Heart **

**My heart…**

…is pounding with such a fierce longing for her as I force myself to move away from her.

_…is breaking faster than I can hold it together as I lay down on my blanket._

I want her more than I have ever wanted anything in my entire life.

_I want nothing more in this life than I want him._

I can’t help but stare at her, entranced by the way the glow of the fire plays off of her raven hair that I love to touch. She’s the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.

_I can feel his eyes on me, watching me, wanting me just like I want him and I can’t stop the tears from falling. He’s the most handsome man I have ever met. He’s truly a rare man and he loves me._

The frustrated tension between us still lingers heavily in the air, the desire to hold her, to kiss her, to know her so intimately tugging insistently on me.

_My lips still tingle deliciously from his kisses, his taste still lingers on my tongue as a cruel sadistic reminder of what I want, but can never ever have._

I will have her someday. All mine.

_I will never have him. Never mine to have._

The thought makes my pulse race, knowing how truly incredible our first time together will be as well as every time after that.

_The thought makes the tears fall faster as I bite my bottom lip to stifle the sob that suddenly fills my throat at never being with him, knowing him the way that I dream about, never expressing what lives inside of me for him._

I watch her as her body gently begins to shake and I know that she is crying and it makes me want to cry too knowing that she is hurting.

_I can’t stop the tears from falling, my sorrow taking control. I can’t let him see how badly I’m hurting right now, how painful it was for me to push him away when all I wanted us to pull him closer…closer…always closer…_

I want to hold her…

_I want him to hold me, to feel his arms so safe around me…_

…but I don’t want to make it harder for her. I know how much it hurts because it hurts me too.

_…but I don’t want to hurt him more than I already have._

I just love her so much…

_…love him more than life itself._

I love the feel of her lips against mine…

_…his tongue battling against mine for control…_

…her hands on my face sliding into my hair…

_…his hand on my thigh slowly inching farther and farther upwards…_

I release a wanton sigh, knowing I need to rein in my need for her but I discovered long ago that it’s impossible.

_I swallow back my desire for him, trying to keep from leaping to my feet and giving myself fully to him regardless of the consequences._

I do not fear her. Her magic thinks that it can’t ever be defeated, but I will conquer it and take what is only mine to have.

_The dull ache of unfulfilled desires grips me so tightly that I can barely breathe sometimes, the thought of him belonging to another crushing my soul._

I never want another. She stole my heart long ago. I belong to her regardless of what her magic dictates. I will not allow it to stand in my way of making her mine, of the way that our life is supposed to be together.

_…I want him in every way possible…_

…she’ll be mine in every way…

_…I love him…more than words can describe._

…I love her doesn’t begin to describe what I feel for her.

_He believes that he will find a way around my powers. I want so desperately to believe him, but I’m afraid…so afraid…_

Why doesn’t she believe me when I tell her that we’ll be together, making love to one another and creating a family together?

_I want so desperately to believe him and when I look into those warm brown eyes that melt my heart, I find that I do in spite of myself. And then I can’t help but have hope for our future, one spent with the only man that I have ever loved._

I know there’s a small part of her that believes, that holds out hope. Please, Kahlan, don’t lose hope; don’t give up on me…on us…

_Deep down in some secret place, I know that I can’t give up despite the disparaging odds against us. I love him. He is my Seeker and if anyone can find a way, I know that it will be Richard Cypher._

Fatigue pulls on me and I finally lay down. I stare up at the rocky ceiling above me and I wonder what she’s thinking about. Is she dreaming of a future with me?

_My eyelids begin to grow heavy despite my hurting heart. I hear him finally lay down and I can’t help but wonder what he’s been thinking about this whole time. Does he regret falling in love with me, with a Confessor? My title is like acid on my tongue._

Staring at the ceiling, I want nothing more than to go to her, to feel her every curve against mine, to fall asleep with her in my arms every night and to wake to that beautiful face every morning.

_I feel the tears coming again at the thought of him regretting his love for me. I’m helpless to stop the tears that are creating wet trails down my face and I hate myself for what I have done to him, my heart betraying me and choosing him._

Kahlan is my life, my past, present, and future. Everything that I am, everything that I do revolves solely around her. I can’t imagine a life where she doesn’t belong with me…to me.

_Richard has turned my life upside down, winning my heart and my love along the way. I want more than anything to be what he needs most, what he so deserves. Can I though? Can a Confessor love a man without the act of confession? Could we be the first to accomplish the impossible?_

Someday soon.

_Maybe someday._

I love her…

_…always love him…_

I’m yours…

_…forever yours…_

I can’t help but look over at her and I know that she’s not asleep.

_I involuntarily stiffen as I hear him suddenly move. My heart is beginning to race with a hope I shouldn’t hold onto, but can’t let go of, wondering…maybe…will he…?_

I’m unable to bear this painful distance between us, the need to touch her too overpowering to ignore any longer and I know what I must do, what I want to do.

_I hear him moving towards me and I hold my breath, my eyelids slamming closed. A sudden wash of nervous excitement floods my veins, a feeling that only Richard has ever instilled in me._

I settle down on her blanket beside her, using my pack as a pillow. I carefully press my body against her back, silently pleading with her not to pull away from me again for I cannot bear it.

_Warmth permeates every muscle as he presses his perfect form against my back and I can’t help but melt into him as he wraps his arms around my waist and holds me close._

I feel her relax into me and I can’t help the small smile that reaches my lips. The feel of her body pressed so snugly against mine is almost my undoing, but I draw in a deep breath only to release it in an attempt to right the fierce desire for her that continually simmers inside of me.

_The feel of his warm breath against my neck sends shivers up my spine. My tears are suddenly gone, forgotten now, and all I know again is peace and the overwhelming love that I feel for my Seeker._

I gently brush her hair aside, my lips finding her ear. Her scent makes my head spin, forcing me to pause to regain my senses. I kiss her softly and I hear a sigh slip past her sweet lips.

_I can’t stop the sigh that escapes, knowing that he had to have heard me, but right now I don’t care. All I care about is right here beside me and for a little while I feel so safe, hopeful about my future with him again._

I don’t say a word as I drift off to sleep with her in my arms. There is no need. She knows that I am here.

_He doesn’t say a word and I am thankful for that. This. This is all that I need right now, just to be reassured that he still loves me in spite of who I am._

I will always be here for her…

_…don’t ever leave me…_

…I could never leave her…she holds my heart…

_…he holds my heart and I find that I can suddenly breathe again…_

I feel her hand settle against mine. We interlock our fingers and I press our joined hands against her abdomen, keeping her securely against me.

_The feel of his fingers laced with mine creates a cocoon around us, binding us together within the confines our love. Worries and doubts and fears still loiter in my soul, threatening to tear me down and steal my hope, but I know that Richard won’t let that happen._

I will always catch her when she falls, keeping us together and being the source of hope and strength for the both of us.

_I need him like the air that fills my lungs and I know that he needs me just as fiercely. He makes me believe in the impossible and I can’t help the small smile that touches my lips as sleep drags me under and only one thought remains…_

She is the air that I breathe and I know that she needs me just as strongly. I nuzzle my nose in the crook of her neck as I drift off of to sleep and only one thought remains…

**My heart…**

…is hers and I am home…

_…is his and I’m finally home…finally…_

 

**THE END**


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